Sexy Skeletor is an also an excellent Sexy Dancer, incidentally: So out goes stocking-clad waif Lili, and in comes Sexy Skeletor.įeeling confused? I know I am.
TEKKEN 7 CHARACTER OVERVIEW SERIES
Here's high-kicking series mainstay Nina, usually dressed in thigh-split dresses and stilletos, but now a ice-cool assassin who just happens to shop at Cath Kidston:Īn alternative approach is to decide to own Tekken's tedious sexpottery. There are ton of options to make your character simply look cooler still, be it tweaking the outfit colour schemes to your heart's desire, slapping a load of awesome armour onto them, or, in the case of the to-a-one titillatingly-dressed women characters (a trope that has sadly always haunted this series), depicting them as the pure badasses they really are.
Of course, you don't have to purse maximum absurdity. while a hulking new character named Gigas takes to the battlefield as Mecha-Santa's First Date:Īnd Akuma, a character this series now shares with Street Fighter, has decided to challenge the public perception of him as hellfire made flesh. I went for the 'sacked Cbeebies presenter suffers public breakdown' look here. Though the series now pursues an awkward blend of absurdity and ponderous, cod-mythic storytelling, Tekken began life as a fairly brazen 3D Streetfighter knock-off, and if there's one character sorely in need of mockery, it's blatant Ken/Guile hybrid Paul Phoenix. This pizza can indeed be used to attack people. Jaguar-headed wrestler King, meanwhile, is transformed from feline to avian, his added baseball jacket making him look like some jock escapee from Hatoful Boyfriend.Īlso he wears a large pizza on his back. I call this one Trump-branded Sex Dungeon Cyber-Bear With Butterfly Wings: All the bear-fighting and deer-men and bird-people and women who drag pet tigers onto the battlefield with them are a-ok though, apparently). Onto Kuma next, one of the Tekken series two longstanding ursine fighters (the imaginatively-named Panda being the other there used to be a kangaroo too, but he was removed for fear it would upset animal rights activists. The victory screens are particularly unsettling:
JACK was always one of the most visually intimidating characters in Tekken, but this Mecha-Moreau creation should shit my opponents right up.
Hazard-striped power-loader legs, a natty regency waistcoat and jacket in various shades of pink and purple and OH CHRIST a baby deer's head on top of it. Mohawked metallo-man JACK has always been the absolute boy in Tekken as far as I'm concerned, so I'm happy to see him back in this new one - now as JACK-7 - but happier still to discover that I can make him even more ridiculous than he usually is. Apparently the extra customisation options are primarily metallic-coloured variants of stuff available in both editions. Edit - looks like I got that a bit wrong. So, with a slightly heavy heart at the inherent aspect of 'let me show what you're missing out on', let me show what you're missing out on. And that's a damn shame, as with all this weird and wonderful dress-up stuff, Tekken 7 becomes a game that transcends fighting game fandom - making the standard and deluxe edition one and the same would surely put it in whole lot more hands, not just those of the most dedicated fisticuff gonks. If you're only in this for shits and giggles, as opposed to intense online competition or whatever, the $74.99/£59.98 pricetag, as opposed to the standard edition's £39.99/$49.99, is going to seem pretty steep. One proviso before we get too celebratory here: many of Tekken 7's most gloriously ridiculous costume options are only available in the more expensive deluxe edition. From Sexy Skeletor to three-foot hair to Murderous Bird-Jocks to Regency Mech-Deer to Cath Kidston Badass, tailoring Tekken 7's brawlers is an absolute delight.
I never expected Tekken 7 - a fighting game, of all things - to be the game that made the joke funny all over again. Often, I think "surely we are now at Peak Character Customisation." The freaks and geeks of Saint's Row or Black Desert seem to have pushed things about as far as they can go without entirely breaking - a dizzying range of choice and absurdity, only hinted at in the days when we believed City of Heroes' dressing up tool was a revelation.